Enchanted
by PandaTumTum
Summary: "You kissed me, I shouldn't have liked it, but I did." And sometimes it's a lot more complicated than an unforeseen kiss.


**Author's Note**

**Disclaimer** I don't own Glee or the cover image **Note** I hope you find an interest in this story and enjoy it. It was something I thought symbolizes Quinn and Rachel's love and friendship in Glee, but it's still A/U. **Summary **"You kissed me, I shouldn't have liked it, but I did." And sometimes it's a lot more complicated than an unforeseen kiss.

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**Chapter One**

**Drops of Love**

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Quinn sauntered down a small town named Whitehorse on the eve of Christmas and in the nick of time found herself near a snow-covered forest. It looked so scenic situated below a vast mountain top with a small stream travelling under a wooden bridge and into its snowy trees. Its splendor left Quinn in a feel of wonder each time and it did now more than ever as northern lights began to radiate the clouds above, searing green and blue threads of light followed by a white after glow. It made the fireworks exploding in the sky, such a surreal and breathtaking view.

No, Quinn wasn't transfixed by this lone beauty, she was transfixed by the beautiful mess she's become in the middle of this place. The place that's made it easy for her to smile, to laugh, to find shelter away from town. It's here she calls home because everything there is the closest thing to happiness, to friendship, to love she's ever found.

But she's found out, a little too late, how short life can be. She found out, all so late, that if you don't try, you'll never know the outcome. And the hardest thing she's had to do so far, is let go of it all. And if you don't spend each moment happy, when darkness comes along, you'll die of a broken heart.

And that's exactly what she's become; a beautiful mess, dying of a broken, shattered heart.

She knows that because she chose that.

Before she had gotten there, each step had been slow and each breath had been deliberate. But as she closed the space between her and the forest, she felt that she had become a lifeless leaf wandering down a dark and endless trail. At the same time, she had felt the small, cool droplets of snow wash over her. She had felt the breeze as it smashed into her.

But none of it was in fact felt: she can't feel, she's numb from head to toe. It's what she's become, artificial. She's become lifeless, invisible. She doesn't mind it, but sometimes she wants to feel, even if it's the sun's warmth.

She was able to do so, as she saw her one last time.

Rachel, the one as beautiful as the moonshine Quinn can see above the lake. She took one quick glance at her blurry reflection in the somewhat cold, lit lake. How peculiar she looked, clear and solid, like a diamond. But to her, Rachel's radiant and more than beautiful...and she's awestruck and she's marveled because of her.

Somehow, in the moon's reflection and hers, she found it all so familiar. For some reason, she had dreamed of this place for months; of the sunshine, of the clear-cut clouds, and of the cold warmth this place offered. It's now dull and completely sheltered in snow, but once it was beautiful. Not that she doesn't admire it now, but in the sun, it all seemed so perfect to her.

She even remembers the view of the evergreen flowers and summit trees. She could remember the sound of a beautiful doe's voice that came with such filled laughter. She could remember a small russet canoe on the rich lake and two people inside who she could distinguish as her and Rachel.

Her friend, her secret love.

How could she ever forget such a beautiful face? How could she not notice such a brilliant person? How could she forget it was all once hers? How had it all become undone? It's one question she won't answer, because she doesn't want to remember.

It's too late and she's too tired.

Quinn had walked from street to street, from shop to shop and somewhere in between she landed on Rachel's doorsteps.

Once she was there, she remembered a small memory that will last forever: a confession with a timid kiss. It's because of that she couldn't knock on the door, it's because of that it all had become undone.

She couldn't find the will, thrive to see her once again without becoming an ugly, shattered mess.

She's too in love.

So she watched from the sidewalk on the other side. She was more than thankful when she saw Rachel covered in someone else's warmth: she's safe and sound, after all. She knows Finn's the one for her and she will let it be. She couldn't even contain a smile as she watched her dance and prance around the Christmas tree. She's content and that's all Quinn wants for her, but somehow she also wants a part of Rachel to be hers forever. If it's the corner of her heart, she'd accept. But such a wish is impossible because she must free her from her.

She must be selfless, for her, and she will. Now all she wants to do is reach into the dark, bitter lake and drift further and further away from the snow-covered land. It's perfect, because from there Quinn could see stars, which remind her so much of Rachel.

But she can't do this, not without tears. So she let them fall, from her clear and solid face and into the subzero water, so she could dream the dream she always dreamed of.

She hummed it, like a melody, and opened her mouth so she wouldn't be the only to know her dream. So the drops of snow, drops of rain, set of trees, ice-cold wind, and this place with a beautiful moon could know she would miss this place when she's gone, so they could know she loved the girl she would bring here when the sun would appear.

It's like they seemed to know, because after that, it all went quiet. They all stopped; the wind, the rain, the snow to hear Quinn's melodic voice...

"Be still and know that I'm with you

Be still and know I am here

Be still and know that I am with you

Be still, be still, and know"

She stopped on the last word because the next part belonged to Rachel. It was their song, the song that helped their friendship arise when Quinn had lost everything, her parents. Quinn had known about the quiet, talented girl, but it wasn't until Rachel helped put some light in her that she realized this girl was more than hope, she was love.

"When darkness comes upon you

And covers you with fear and shame

Be still and know that I'm with you

And I will say your name"

But that voice doesn't belong to Quinn. She was off in a quiet dream, hearing the next words only in her head, not noticing that voice was more than a dream. She didn't realize that on the snow-covered land Rachel stood. Her heart heaving because of her long run in the cold night, her coat masked in snow, and her hair becoming disarray because of the breezy wind.

Rachel looked for the face she saw outside her window a while ago. She had blinked a couple of times and noticed that Quinn had marched away. She hadn't wasted a second placing her coat on and walking out into the snowy sidewalk. No one had noticed, she had gone out to find Quinn. It took her a while to know where she'd be.

So she went through the crowded, lively streets of Whitehorse and the kids and their fireworks, so she could find her friend. That's when she found her, on the water, singing their song...their secret song. Her heart swelled because Quinn was so calm, so tranquil in what must be freezing water. By the look of it, only a small patch is actually water and the rest is ice.

"Quinn, answer me."

She heard it, she heard her voice. She looked up to find Rachel's trembling body only feet away from her. She could see clear tears falling from her face.

"I thought I wouldn't find you, but here you are. In our haven."

She couldn't speak, She couldn't utter a word.

"Rach...what are you doing? It's cold!" Quinn got up from the water and hugged Rachel tightly, "You could've drowned, could of frozen to death Rachel!" She didn't know what was worse, both would end with losing Rachel. So she just hugged her tightly, trying to give any of her warmth to Rachel.

"Wh-why are-aren't you co-cold?" Rachel asked as she hugged Quinn tightly, not wanting to let go of the warmth she felt. She didn't want to leave, not to some place warm, if it wasn't with Quinn close. It was comfortable, no matter how bizarre the situation looked Rachel felt safe in Quinn's arms.

Quinn took Rachel's hands from her shoulder and carried her back to the coast. Rachel was freezing in her arms, her face hiding in Quinn's chest. It broke Quinn's heart because she didn't want to see the girl this way, not here when should would leave soon. She sat Rachel on a rock and took one good look at her, "Rachel, why are you here?"

Rachel tried to speak, but it only turned into a mumble and a cute pout. "I-I saw you." She could only say those three words without biting her lips from how cold she felt. Quinn only sighted and placed her hands on Rachel's forearm and rubbing it up and down, wanting to provide the girl with some heat.

After a minute or so, Rachel's body stopped shivering uncontrollably, stabilizing a bit. She was breathing in quietly, her eyes closed, memorized by how Quinn was relaxing her. "Why did you leave?" She asked with eyes still closed. Her forehead now falling into Quinn's shoulder. "I had already said my goodbye." Quinn placed her hands around Rachel's back, doing the same thing she was doing with her forearm; providing heat of some sort.

Rachel moved back from Quinn's embrace and placed her hands on Quinn's cheek. "I didn't say my goodbye." She hadn't, Quinn had...kissed her, so quick, that when she opened her eyes she was already gone. She wanted to run after the blonde and try to understand what it all meant. It wasn't everyday Quinn was...passionate, intimate. But when she felt those lips on her, Rachel had felt a rush of blood run to her head, it was indescribable because Rachel had never imagined Quinn, her friend, would just kiss her on their last days as seniors.

"You kissed me, I shouldn't have liked it, but I did." Rachel closed the distance between them and kissed Quinn gently, softly, giving every stroke of their lips her life. But it lasted as long as Quinn's kiss to her, not long enough. Quinn turned away from Rachel's kiss.

It was better than anything Quinn had imagined, it was even better than their first, but she just couldn't. Not when she knew the truth.

Rachel was trying to breathe in calmly, much like Quinn, because Rachel had literally taken her breath away.

"Please, say something. Please, say I'm not dreaming." Rachel spoke after a minute. It had gotten quite, with Quinn's eyes close and so near Rachel, but no words had been exchanged.

"You don't love me." Quinn spoke, "You love the idea, but not me." Rachel opened her eyes slowly, not believing what was coming out of Quinn's mouth. "How can you say that?" Quinn placed her hands on Rachel's chin, "Can you honestly let go of Finn? Can you just let go of three years and run into _me_?" Quinn asked her, her voice fading with each word. Rachel was quiet, stunned at how the words fell. It was true, three years of Finn, and she was willing just to run into Quinn because of a beautiful kiss? She followed her over here, to say she was willing to leave him and run into Quinn?

"...but you love me, don't you?" Rachel placed her arms around Quinn's shoulder. "You love me, why can't you accept my love for you?" Quinn shook her head, "You don't understand, do you? I love you, but this thing is impossible, Rachel."

Rachel felt tears caress her face, "No, I do love you Quinn and it's not impossible. I'll head to New York, make my dream come true, and we'll be together. We'll find our dreams come true and share our happiness" Quinn had to smile at how Rachel's voice seemed so determined, but it's an obvious lie.

"No, Rachel, you will head to New York and live with Finn." She placed her fingers in Rachel's tear-eyed face, "He's the one." Rachel only cried more because the more she lied, the more she realized she loved Quinn -but Finn, her high school love, is still very much alive in her heart.

"I'm so, deeply, sorry." How Quinn hated those words so much, but she understood. She has to be selfless and let go, of Rachel, because any longer here and she'd find herself buried next to her parents. "I'm sorry, I want to return my love for you, and I thought I did -because you -you kissed me and I adored it, it's all I think about! You and your hazel eyes! You and that beautiful voice!" Quinn once again shook her head, stopping Rachel's ramble.

"You've done nothing wrong –you just followed your heart. And I ask you, to leave me."

Rachel looked up immediately, "Q-Quinn, I can't do that." She didn't even wait for Quinn to respond, she hugged her and then she kissed her again and again.

"Rachel, please!" Quinn pushed Rachel as far as she could, her tears falling so much she couldn't even see where Rachel landed. "Leave me! I know how hard it is because I'm letting go too! Rachel, don't do this to yourself, find yourself and realize it's not me you want." She fell to the floor, too broken to stop her legs from falling. She had said it, she had spoken and known the result when she saw Rachel happy in Finn's arms early, she knew Finn would always place a smile on her. They were perfect for one another, he was kind and gentle towards her. He wouldn't dare hurt her or be selfish. He would follow her to New York and marry her, have kids with her. Quinn was beginning to accept it, but Rachel saying lies only made Quinn want cry and hurt more.

She had been sad, but lifted up by Rachel. She had lived happily, but found out that not matter what you, death will come along, and bring you down no matter what. It's exactly what it did to Quinn. She found all the things about life, but reality hit her hard.

Rachel can't love her, because she's already in love with someone else.

She could hear Rachel's footsteps coming closer, coming towards her.

_S__he just won't give up, will she? She's torn my heart and she won't give up to destroy me, to be death instead of hope, instead of love. It's my fault though, I kissed her. I shouldn't have chased happiness. I should have waited and I did, for three years I waited, for it to run into me. But, now, now it's the end and I can't wait any longer. I've ruined her, I've confused her with my love..._

Rachel dropped to her knees and fell into the snow and started to sob.

Quinn looked up and felt so bad, "Rachel, don't cry, not for me. I'm just trying not to make you feel bad for not loving me like I do." It only broke Rachel's heart more. She did love Quinn, she did care for her -but as a friend. "Quinn, don't leave me, please." Quinn nodded her head and fell besides Rachel.

Both were lying on the cold ground, both starting at each other. Both so lost in what do to.

"I can see why aren't you cold." Rachel spoke. She felt so motionless, so dead, that she couldn't feel a thing.

Quinn gave a her a small smile, "You'll feel soon." Quinn got on her legs and took out her hand for Rachel to reach, "Come on, you got to head back home."

Rachel got on her feet, she started to fix her attire and then she looked at Quinn. Her eyes were trained on the moon, like she was silently saying something to it. It was such an innocent thing that Rachel didn't know Quinn was saying her final goodbye to this place.

"Quinn, you'll keep your promise, right?" Quinn looked back at her and nodded her face. "Yes."

"Will I see you sometime soon?" Quinn nodded her head, "Yes."

"When?" Quinn thought about it.

_I don't think anytime soon, no I don't think ever._

"I suppose when fate decides."

Rachel nodded her head mindlessly, "Can I see you in three months, here, in our haven? You'll be able to settle wherever you go and it'll give us time."

Quinn turned to the ground and sighted, "I don't know Rachel, it doesn't seem like enough time."

Rachel got closer to her, "Quinn, you promised!"

She closed her eyes.

_I did promise, but I'm also keeping another promise and that unfortunately breaks the first one._

"Rachel, I can't help, but break tradition. I left something for you, in your room. I hope you read it, one page each day, and then please I ask you to do me this favor, okay?"

Rachel was stunned at the change in Quinn's words, but nodded either way. "I need you to do what I ask in the last page, no matter what, do it. I suppose you what I got you for Christmas." She closed the last amount of space between them, "But can you promise me that?"

"I promise." Quinn smiled, "I thank you."

"I promise you, if you meet me here." Rachel wasn't going to back down on her request, on the assurance that both will still be friends.

"Fine, I promise."

Rachel's smile brought Quinn into a state of bliss. She was thankful she would leave with this memory; Rachel with her smile, keeping her promise to do what she asked...her one last favor.

"Good because no more of you, is like no more air in my lungs." Quinn felt one last tear fall from her face.

"Rachel?" She spoke softly.

"Yes?"

"Merry Christmas." She said before she walked back to her house.

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First month.

Second month.

Third month passed and no Quinn.

No Quinn and a different Rachel with each page she's read from Quinn's notebook, with Quinn's words ringing in her ears.

_"I don't just fall in love, I wait patiently for it to run into my arms..."_


End file.
